I haven't blogged in a long time. I just looked back at the last blog I wrote...WOW!! Last spring, my husband was in a horrible car accident. My last blog spoke about it just a couple of short weeks after it had happened. I said he would be in the hospital for 3-6 months, but by God's grace and the power of prayer he was home in just 6 weeks. He exceeded everyone's expectations by persevering and walking far before anyone thought he would. But, it's been a hard road. Obviously more so for him than for me, but the whole family has been having to go through some pretty tough times. I have tried to stand beside my husband through it all. But, I would be lying if I said I have been the perfect wife, encouraging him every step of the way and doing everything I can for him. There have been some really hard times.
Having an illness myself, homeschooling 3 kids, and having a husband home that needed much care was quite difficult. But, we are a family and we stick together. My husband had quite an amazing transformation through this whole process that left him a very changed man (for the better). I guess almost dying has that affect on people. He really started to see life differently and started to take his walk with the Lord more seriously than he ever has. Watching his faith, at first, had me feeling quite resentful (I am embarrassed to admit) because I wanted what he had. I wanted to feel close to God again but had really been stuck in a deep valley for years. It was really hard watching him be in a place I longed to be.
Thankfully, my husband and I are very close and it wasn't long before what he had experienced started to spill onto me. In the first few days he was in the hospital, I felt God very clearly tell me I needed to depend on HIM, and I hadn't been. I had slipped into putting my husband before my God (it's actually quite an easy thing to do when you have such a good relationship with your husband). I had been depending on him for years and, once he was no longer there to take care of me, I had to take a hard look at what had happened to me; I had made my husband an idol.
Once the dust settled and things started to get a little more "normal', I revisited what the Lord had put on my heart in the very beginning of it all. I needed to put God back in His proper place in my life and my heart; He needed to be first. Being a submissive wife does not mean putting your husband before your God. In fact, being submissive actually means you put the Lord first, then everything else follows in its proper order because you're obeying His will for your family. I started to ask God to search my heart and reveal things to me that needed to be rooted out of me. I didn't even know what He would find, but He very lovingly and graciously showed me things I didn't know were there.
I haven't told my whole story yet about the accident and everything that followed. And, perhaps one day I will. But, for now, I just want to say that even though this was by far the hardest thing this family has had to endure, it has also been the best thing that has ever happened to us. WHAT??!! Yup. The best thing. Seriously, because the accident forced us to re-evaluate our entire life. It forced us to get on track with the Lord and His plans and what He wants for our lives. The Lord started to show us more truth and opened our eyes to things in our life that needed change. It put a fire back in our hearts and pushed us towards something greater.
SO much has come out of this horrible situation; so much that I cannot possibly write it all in one blog post. So, I am not even going to try. I will leave it at this for now: When something bad happens to you or someone you love, look for the opportunity to grow and ask the Lord what He wants to teach you through it.
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting". Psalm 139:23-24
https://youtu.be/PxOiGZoEnsE
What is God trying to teach you?
